Day 40 - how much is too much service?

I didn't have to go into work today so I went to cut my hair before I leave for Trinidad tomorrow. It took 2 hours to cut my hair! I don't know what the woman was doing but I look alite, I'm pretty satisfied with it.
 
Tonight, Dot and her cell group threw me a send-off dinner at her house. We made vietnemese spring rolls! I've never made my own before so it was quite a treat. I shared with them the details of my trip and they prayed for me.  I'm so glad to have bros & sis care for me and pray for me.  I've miss having that fellowship bonding time.  Being away from Daniel Fellowship for so long has really changed me. And not just away because I'm in Calgary but I've been away from Daniel for a while now. I still go to fellowship but my presence is no longer there. I don't know if being away has changed me for the good or bad. I'm no longer at the head of the reins which is what I've always wanted but I think not being involved with my home church has caused me to feel that I don't belong there anymore.  I feel like my fellowship doesn't include me in things and I never know what's going on so I feel kinda left out.  Is that the price I must pay to want less involvement and less responsiblity at church?

But I guess my less involvement over the past 3 years has become no involvement at all. I don't even have to chair fellowships anymore.  I liked serving in church but I just hate it when people assume I can and will do it.  Just like people assuming I want to serve on the committee for the new church. It's not like I don't want to serve but it would have been nice to be asked so I can think and pray about it instead of being assigned and assumed that I'd do it.  Now, it's like if I say I don't want to do it, people will be thinking, "why doesn't she want to serve? What's wrong with her? Is her faith slipping?" Like I said, it's not like I don't want to serve but I don't know if I can handle it. The reason I sort of left the church was because it was too much for me, I was doing too much!  CCF is already going to be a handful and I really need to concentrate on my last year in school.  And this time, this position they want me to serve is on a committee for a whole congregation, not just a fellowship committee anymore.  That's a huge responsiblity.  I can't overload myself like I did in the past but at the same time, I really want to get back into the church and help out, especially since my church was SOOO supportive in my internship w/ eMi.

I need to really pray about this. Give me direction and guidance Lord. Show me what you want me to do.
 
Well, we're leaving for Trinidad early tomorrow. I really don't know what to expect on this trip. I just pray that God will open my eyes and all that we do down there will be pleasing to him. Will be keeping a separate blog on Trinidad!