Day 101 - I AM CANADIAN or am I?

Tonight as I was walking with some friends, we asked about each other's culture. It was quite interesting because all four of us are Chinese, at least to the degree that our parents are Chinese and yet we all had a different answer. One person said she's Chinese-Indonesian, one said Canadian, one said Chinese-Canadian and I said Chinese. I found it interesting because I would never have considered saying Canadian or Chinese-Canadian. I mean, I'm a Canadian citizen, I love being called a Canadian when I travel, I lived in Canada longer than I have Hong Kong and whenever I watch those "Canadian" beer commercials, I get a little tear of pride in my eyes but I've never considered Canada as a culture. When people ask about my culture, it's always simply just Chinese and being Chinese-Canadian has never crossed my mind.

I consider my culture to be Chinese because I celebrate all the Chinese holidays and festivals. I know and practice all the little traditions associated with each. I speak fluent Cantonese (to a certain degree), I have Chinese-speaking friends, I listen to Chinese music and watch Chinese movies and I know what real Chinese food is. One thing that's custom to the Chinese culture is having a very close extended family, which is what I have. I see my aunts, uncles and cousins at least once everyweek. And I still catch myself thinking in Chinese. I also have a deep sense of pride in being Chinese.

But now that I think about it, if these are the type of things that makes Chinese my culture then can't these things also make me Canadian? I mean, I celebrate all the Canadian holidays, I speak fluent Canadian (eh?), I have Caucasian friends, I love Canadian music and watching hockey, I think in English, and I have that independence about me that isn't associated with Chinese people. Hmm. I wonder why I've never considered myself Chinese-Canadian. But I guess this isn't truly the Canadian culture, aside from the holidays and music, it's simply the Western culture. Hmm. What is the Canadian culture? It better not just be beer and hockey. I dunno, Canada doesn't seem to have that strong distinct culture like the Chinese culture... at least I haven't been exposed to it.

Being Canadian has always just been a status or something like that to me. But I guess that's the thing about growing up in Toronto and area. The Chinese culture in T.O is so strong that there's no way you can avoid it. I know people who went through high school without having to speak more than 2 sentences in English. Sometimes I feel very torn because I really want to be more exposed to the Canadian culture but I don't want to lose my Chinese culture either. Is it possible to have a good balance of both? Sigh. Always so torn.